Planet Waves | Genexhibitionst by Maya Dexter


 Genexhibitionist Maya Dexter


'Everyone will watch from the sidelines and cheer
As you update your projects and walk on your ear!'


"Your sense of humor and literary skills could be better used..."

-- SCOTT [her boss]

[EDITOR'S NOTE: We offer you a few examples of how Maya Dexter entertains, or entertained, herself at work, by including poems in a variety of literary styles with one of her weekly assignments. -e]

[MAYA'S COMMENT: For background, the two-week planner is a document emailed to me once a week from Engineering and I edit it & change the comments section to red, and then forward it to my department for changes, which must be completed by Friday. This is the subject of the poetry.]

Here are the poems, in weekly order:

1. Haiku Style:

The latest planner
for your editing pleasure
done by Friday, please

2. Haiku again:

no poem today
too far behind on my work
I'll write one next week

3. Limerick Style:

There once was a file named Planner
Which required each week you to scan 'er
Put your changes right in
(Change comes from within)
By Friday, or else you'll get hammered!

4. Beat Poet Style:

(mentally insert bongo drums after each line)

Planner -
called "two weeks"
but comes every week.
Reality sometimes
cannot be resolved.
Time is a matter of style
not technique.
Friday comes, your changes in,
this week will be gone...gone...gone...
next week do it again.

dig it....

5. Mime Style:



6. Shakespearean Sonnet Style (my masterpiece, in perfect iambic pentameter):

In weekly e-mails does the planner come
A clock to measure passing of the weeks
More accurate than fickle moon and sun
It is to you the two-week planner speaks

The column to the left holds comments red
The blood of slaughtered plans and schedules
To show that time away from us has sped
Reined in again, a chest of spill-ed jewels

But time, o time, thou art a slip'ry beast
Forever struggling from our desp'rate grasp
As Friday's deadline pressure comes increased
Then fickle freedom to your bosom clasp

For next week comes ere not so far behind
To bring more pressure piled upon the mind

7. Seuss Style (by request):

Follow the link, the link to the planner!
Follow the planner while waving your banner,
The banner that's made from Wachoosy Yak hair,
Wave your yak-banner high in the wide-open air!

You're onto it now, yes you've got it made,
You're the bandleader in the great planner parade!
Everyone will watch from the sidelines and cheer
As you update your projects and walk on your ear!

But I hope you don't think it's as easy as that,
No, you must update and earwalk while you juggle a cat.
And not just any old cat can you juggle like that -
You'll need a wiffle-o-wuffle-o-waddamacat!

But I know you can do it, you're spiffy that way
You can do what you want, no matter what They may say!

So be you named Jim, or be you named Jeff,
Be you named Vladimiroff VonSvardingsvonsteff,
Have your changes in Friday or you should beware -
They might come in your sleep and braid all your hair!

8. Alliteration Style:

when wednesday wheels around we wonder why we waited so long to welcome our weekly witness as to where to widen the windows of our work.

falling forward to friday we find we feel a firm fascination for the force of the flash fire of fate, for a few frantic days is a feeble flicker of more feasible five.

put pen to paper (or pointer to PC) and plan to partake in the pointedly predictable procedure of paring the particularly superfluous parts out of your persistently punishing program of appointments, or supplement, if you percieve this period as particularly plain.

The letter that ended it all:


I know you have fun with these things, but I think you should stop it. There are obvious questions about work piling up and other tasks that could be done, that would lead many people to conclude this is inappropriate. Your sense of humor and literary skills could be better used, and those of us who are stressed a bit (or more) with current workload don't always find this to be entertaining. I would be happy to discuss this further with you if you wish. Thanks.

- Scott

So then yesterday I was told by this guy and the department head to stop socializing and just do my work because it's not getting done, though they realize that there is no way that I could possibly get it done because I am supporting too many people. I give myself two weeks, tops. I just need enough time to include this new development in my resignation poem and figure out where the money will come from. I'll send you a copy when it's done. ++

   Horoscopes | Search | Index | What's New