Q: I've been trying to find out what natal Venus squaring my nodes means. I feel that it means that I've been bouncing back and forth between totally giving my power away in relationships (basically becoming a servant) and having totally superficial relationships (just gi'me sex and I'm outta here). What I've been doing in this incarnation is some of each of those (and the bailing when I realize the pattern), or becoming involved in relationships which MUST fail because I'm afraid of manifesting that servant thang again. Right now I'm "having to do" with a married man again. (which we all know is going to fail -- and gives me good reason to affirm that I'm hopeless at relating.)
The challenge with Venus square my nodes seems to be to hold my power in relatedness, and be honorable too. Am I close? Do you think this can be achieved in this lifetime? (10/29/64, Scorpio Sun, Leo Moon, Gemini Rising)
A: When most astrologers talk about the nodes, it's no fun. Voices drop and lips purse. Love, passion and pleasure are rarely mentioned. When most astrologers talk about the nodes, the word karma is not far away. And, we are told, karma is serious business. It is heavy with lessons to be learned, debts to be paid and scales to be balanced. Karma is life sentences, and the nodes are its past/present dangling participles.
Good thing most astrologers aren't here. It's only me, and since we share a Gemini-rising, let's play a word game. Let's substitute the word "fucking" for "nodes", and "orgasm" for Venus while we look at your chart. Just for fun.
OK, the fucking/nodes. Technically, the nodes are two points, north and south, where the orbit of the Moon intersects with path of the Sun (the ecliptic). They have no weight or mass; they are points on an imaginary line. The nodes exist through the meanings we assign or agree to. Some common perceptions hold that the nodes relate to an individual's karmic path, with the north node indicating the way of spiritual freedom and growth, and the south node indicating the way of adversity and depletion.
I think that the most important things to remember about the nodes are that they are the process of our understanding, a function of our perceptions, and that they are most effective and pleasurable when they are present time. Just like fucking. In my perception, the nodes, and the concept of karma, are about the choices you make and whether those choices promote and support a loving life experience. Just like fucking.
Wherever the nodes are in your chart, they represent how and where you will have opportunities to make loving choices -- or not. With your north node in the first house in Gemini, you will have opportunities to explore how you understand the truth of who you are, through your significant relationships. You can know yourself as a creation defined by the exaggerated gossip and fear of being stuck in past patterns. Or, you can choose to write a new story and know yourself as a channel for a love that is you and much more than you. Just like fucking, when it's really, really good. You feel Divine.
Which brings us to orgasm and Venus. Venus is the archetype of the Feminine. She is the goddess of Wet. Aleister Crowley said of Venus, "It is impossible to summarize the meanings of the symbol of the Woman, for this very reason, that she continually recurs in infinitely varied form; the fundamental formula of the universe is Love." 1
Venus is Love, and Love is Paradox. Wet acquiesces and demands. Orgasm is an expression of power and a surrender.
(Btw, the word orgasm comes from the Greek orgas, which means a well-watered, fertile spot of land; a rich tract of land sacred to the gods and goddesses; growing ripe, swelling with lust and being in heat; being eager, ready and exited. 2)
When a planet aspects the nodes, habits and familiar response patterns can obscure awareness of our choices. When Venus squares the nodes, traditional or familiar feminine roles and power dynamics can obscure awareness of choice in understanding, expressing and experiencing the Paradox. In your particular case, with Venus in Virgo in the fifth house squaring the nodes, love, fucking and orgasm can be experienced as guilty competition -- no choice except serve or be served, with apologies all around.
Your challenge in having Venus square the nodes is to move out of the fear of the power you think you might lose, and beyond the manipulation of taking what you think you don't have. It is choosing experiences other than fuck or be fucked.
Transiting Saturn is currently conjunct your north node, bringing you opportunities to explore how you see yourself through your self-talk. For example, you might ask yourself what is the purpose of an affirmation that says you are hopeless at relating? Does choosing to affirm and reinforce that belief support a loving way of seeing yourself? If this that is how you value yourself, how do you limit your choices in relationship? What are you really telling yourself when you predetermine that your relationships MUST fail?
You could choose to allow Venus, who serves through intimacy but is no one's servant, to be your guide rather than your roadblock. Venus can be the intercourse that flows between humans and the immortal. At it's highest, Venusian spirituality allows us to find our soul in the place that is accessible through openhearted pleasure and passion. In fact, Venus is called philommeidas, the lover of smiles -- both horizontal and vertical. 2
If you choose, you can meet the challenge of Venus squaring the nodes now. And tomorrow. And yesterday. With a smile.
1. Akron and Hajo Banzhaf, The Crowley Tarot.
2. Thomas Moore, The Soul of Sex: Cultivating Life as an Act of Love.