the palm reader is in coyoacan, the birth place of frida kahlo in mexico city,
he's old, he's got long grey hair, he makes noises with air, pushing it out with his mouth closed.
pop and pee.
he held both of my hands, cradled them like babies, and i tried to let my energy out through them, he spoke in spanish and i strained to pick up a few words, but a woman who shared my birthday sat beside me and roughly translated.
he told me he told me he told me that i was full of love that there was no evil inside of me and that my body was going to have twins, two big twin boys, given by a dark man, and he reached over and touched my belly
he rubbed my hands and my arms with his cologne, he said that it has always been my dream to have twins and his smell was on my skin he tried to kiss me and hug me and pull me close to him and i jumped up and leapt away
i walked down the street his smell was on me and i went to a restaurant to wash my hands and arms over and over, my cunt was bleeding and i could still smell the man,
he touched my belly like a father like there was something inside of me, a baby a baby,
he touched me.
there is the heat of a baby inside of me and it grows and grows but it never cries it swims in my blood and it feeds me
the word baby fits in my mouth like a bag of sperm, it comes out when i sit, babies babies babies, my body is craving a baby, and i feel fertile and my cunt wants to feel full
but i don't want a baby, i don't want a man, my spirit wants to run and jump and live somewhere else and sing and draw and paint and be alone, be by myself, solo, solitary, a vagabond, a gypsy, moving dancing spinning
but then there is my body, my body calls and torments my spirit, body fire that constantly burns, screaming orgasms over and over, animal heat, rough, biting, pulling hair, pulling teeth, organs on the ground, contorting, swiveling, pivoting, jumping, grinding, thrusting, again and again and again
cataclysmic catastrophic catatonic catabolic cataclastic catamenia FUCKING
my body wants a body my body wants a baby
my spirit doesn't want to be touched doesn't want to be moved
i want to be free i want to feel a baby i want to run around naked i don't want to be looked at
i want to listen to the palm reader i don't want his smell on me
my body and my spirit
one needs the other
they are stuck together
they want the same thing
they want different things
i'm going crazy, i touch belly, i touch my cunt, my tongue sings babies all day long, heat sun moon blood sweat cum spit piss fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkingggggggg
and i don't want to be looked at i don't want to be bothered i don't want to feel restless i want to sit at my computer i want to write i want my fucking sensibility to come out in words and not out in babies
and my cunt is soo hot it wants to feel full it wants to feel love and it is just me and my fucking body and my spirit and we are going to take this energy compound down inside my cunt snap the orgasm explode the ovaries lets make babies